115+ Latest Crazy Status || Unique Crazy Status in 2018

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I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

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BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.

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One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

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Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.

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If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.

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Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

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I speak two languages, Body and English.

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Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.

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The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”

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It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.

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Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

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I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz

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Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.

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Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.

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People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

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Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

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Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

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Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number.

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Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.

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If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.

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I hate when I am about to hug someone really s3xy and my face hits the mirror.

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For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept.

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Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

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I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

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I think I got a fever, a fever of you.

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Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY.

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For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.

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Friday is my second favorite F word.

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God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

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Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them.

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I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something.

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The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me.

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Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.

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Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me.

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Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.

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Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

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How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

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Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

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I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

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The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

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Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture.

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I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

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I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

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Excuse me …. Please empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.

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Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

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All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

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I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

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If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking.

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If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

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I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

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One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions

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My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

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When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

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A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

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I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

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Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

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If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.

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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own.

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When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

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I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

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Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

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At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

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Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

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I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

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TODAY has been cancelled. Go back to BED.

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Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association).

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I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep.

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GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

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I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.

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In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

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Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

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Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

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Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

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The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”.

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Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

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I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time..

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The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight.

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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

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Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

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There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

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It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry.

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Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

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We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.

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Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

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Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

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When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

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Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

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It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

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People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

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Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

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C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping.

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In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebook is tan!

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People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.

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Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!!.

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I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!

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Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

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Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley.

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I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

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If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking

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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

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God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me.

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Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

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Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.

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My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

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I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

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When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the.

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Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

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6 Peg Loading ..

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Save water drink beer.

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I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

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Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

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Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

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Mosquito are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

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Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped.

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Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

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Life is Short – Chat Fast!

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Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

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I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

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Hey there whatsapp is using me.

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How can i miss something i never had?

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If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

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I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

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I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.

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God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me!

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Crazy Status Collection

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